You Don't Have to Be A Victim

Slam! You’re up against the locker. Wham! You’ve been punched in the face. Bam! You’re on the ground being kicked mercilessly as demeaning words are being incessantly hurled at you. This is what most people picture when they think of bullying. However, this is not true. Bullying is the sharp words that cut you to the core with no amnesty as your dignity flows out of you.

Brooks Gibbs is a popular motivational speaker for youth on the topic of bullying, and is the author of the best-selling book, Love Is Greater Than Hate.  However, he is not part of just another anti-bullying program that talks about how bad bullying is. His message is different. He teaches on the Golden Rule of love your neighbor, as you would love yourself. Gibbs says, “The Golden Rule is the solution to end bullying because it is empowered by love.” Gibbs’s main message is to be kind to those who are mean to you because we often need a social skill for our enemies, not our friends. Gibbs also tells us why bullies do the things they do. He says, “Very few want to abuse you. They just want to provoke you.” So, by retaliating with kindness, the bullies see we cannot be provoked, and they lose the level of importance they were hoping to gain because it’s hard to be mean to a nice person.

            When he was young, Gibbs was bullied. Because of this, he understands how hard it can be to retaliate with kindness and not get upset. He also knows when you retaliate with cruelty and get upset, the bully wins, and you lose. Gibbs was always losing. He got depressed. He cut himself. Despair and hurt was flowing through his veins. Until one day, his grandmother told him something that transformed him forever. She told him the bullies weren’t making him upset and angry; he was making himself upset and angry. She said nobody could hurt your feelings without permission. By hearing these words, Gibbs couldn’t lose the game of bullying. By remembering that words couldn’t hurt his feelings, couldn’t break him, and couldn’t control him, he says, “I was able to go from victim to solving my own social problem.” It was easier for him to apply the Golden Rule and be kind to those who were mean to him. This is what he strives to get through to every single person he speaks to. Gibbs tells everyone, “Bullying is an opportunity to build resilience.” He wants everyone to know you control your feelings, and nothing has to hurt unless you let it.       

     Gibbs’s message on the Golden Rule and power over personal  feelings is what got him noticed by some moms at San Antonio Christian Schools (SACS). The Parent Teacher Fellowship (PTF) moms of the elementary school students had seen the statistics that say, “One out of seven kids from kinder to twelfth grade are bullies or victims of bullies.” As a result, PTF moms wanted to find a bullying curriculum to teach to their children. Todd Landers, the Elementary School Director of Curriculum, says, “Bullying is actually just dealing with social interactions.” He wanted to start teaching his young students how to deal with these interactions, so they could learn to deal with tough relationships and be equipped before they have to deal with too much. While the concerned mothers were searching for the best curriculum, Gibbs continued to appear. Soon later, it was discovered that Gibb’s sister, Erica Murphy, had two daughters who attended elementary school at SACS. With this information, it was decided and arranged to have Gibbs come and speak to the children. Knowing how great a message he had, Gibbs was asked if he could speak to the Middle and High School as well. Gibbs gladly accepted.

On February 16, 2014, Gibbs shared his unique point of view on bullying at SACS. He shared his own experience. He made the students laugh. He told how their happiness couldn’t be taken away from them. Most importantly, he taught on the Golden Rule. Robert Armstrong, the High School Principal at SACS, said, “The best message he can give you guys is the concept of loving others as you would be loved.” Not only did the faculty love him, but also he was popular among the students. Kyle Lewis, a freshman, went into the assembly thinking he would just be hearing another speech on how bullying isn’t right and how we should try to stop it. However, afterwards, he said, “He spoke more of his personal life and how to cope with bullying. It was more impacting than I expected.” Also, students were surprised on how he taught to deal with bullying by not telling a teacher and just being kind. Mandy Segura, a freshman, said, “It was a radical approach to bullying.” Gibbs continues to travel around the nation, sharing his life-changing message in bullying. Logan Cheney, a senior at SACS who has met Gibbs, said, “He moves where God wants him to be.”  

By Rebecca James, Freshman SACS High School