Slam! You’re up against the
locker. Wham! You’ve been punched in the face. Bam! You’re on the ground being
kicked mercilessly as demeaning words are being incessantly hurled at you. This
is what most people picture when they think of bullying. However, this is not
true. Bullying is the sharp words that cut you to the core with no amnesty as
your dignity flows out of you.
Brooks Gibbs is a popular
motivational speaker for youth on the topic of bullying, and is the author of the
best-selling book, Love Is Greater Than
Hate. However, he is not part of
just another anti-bullying program that talks about how bad bullying is. His
message is different. He teaches on the Golden Rule of love your neighbor, as you
would love yourself. Gibbs says, “The Golden Rule is the solution to end
bullying because it is empowered by love.” Gibbs’s main message is to be kind
to those who are mean to you because we often need a social skill for our
enemies, not our friends. Gibbs also tells us why bullies do the things they
do. He says, “Very few want to abuse you. They just want to provoke you.” So,
by retaliating with kindness, the bullies see we cannot be provoked, and they
lose the level of importance they were hoping to gain because it’s hard to be
mean to a nice person.
When
he was young, Gibbs was bullied. Because of this, he understands how hard it
can be to retaliate with kindness and not get upset. He also knows when you
retaliate with cruelty and get upset, the bully wins, and you lose. Gibbs was
always losing. He got depressed. He cut himself. Despair and hurt was flowing
through his veins. Until one day, his grandmother told him something that
transformed him forever. She told him the bullies weren’t making him upset and
angry; he was making himself upset and angry. She said nobody could hurt your
feelings without permission. By hearing these words, Gibbs couldn’t lose the
game of bullying. By remembering that words couldn’t hurt his feelings,
couldn’t break him, and couldn’t control him, he says, “I was able to go from
victim to solving my own social problem.” It was easier for him to apply the
Golden Rule and be kind to those who were mean to him. This is what he strives
to get through to every single person he speaks to. Gibbs tells everyone,
“Bullying is an opportunity to build resilience.” He wants everyone to know you
control your feelings, and nothing has to hurt unless you let it.
Gibbs’s
message on the Golden Rule and power over personal feelings is what got him noticed
by some moms at San Antonio Christian Schools (SACS). The Parent Teacher
Fellowship (PTF) moms of the elementary school students had seen the statistics
that say, “One out of seven kids from kinder to twelfth grade are bullies or
victims of bullies.” As a result, PTF moms wanted to find a bullying curriculum
to teach to their children. Todd Landers, the Elementary School Director of
Curriculum, says, “Bullying is actually just dealing with social interactions.”
He wanted to start teaching his young students how to deal with these
interactions, so they could learn to deal with tough relationships and be
equipped before they have to deal with too much. While the concerned mothers
were searching for the best curriculum, Gibbs continued to appear. Soon later,
it was discovered that Gibb’s sister, Erica Murphy, had two daughters who
attended elementary school at SACS. With this information, it was decided and
arranged to have Gibbs come and speak to the children. Knowing how great a
message he had, Gibbs was asked if he could speak to the Middle and High School
as well. Gibbs gladly accepted.
On February 16, 2014, Gibbs
shared his unique point of view on bullying at SACS. He shared his own
experience. He made the students laugh. He told how their happiness couldn’t
be taken away from them. Most importantly, he taught on the Golden Rule. Robert
Armstrong, the High School Principal at SACS, said, “The best message he can
give you guys is the concept of loving others as you would be loved.” Not only
did the faculty love him, but also he was popular among the students. Kyle
Lewis, a freshman, went into the assembly thinking he would just be hearing another
speech on how bullying isn’t right and how we should try to stop it. However,
afterwards, he said, “He spoke more of his personal life and how to cope with
bullying. It was more impacting than I expected.” Also, students were surprised
on how he taught to deal with bullying by not telling a teacher and just being
kind. Mandy Segura, a freshman, said, “It was a radical approach to bullying.”
Gibbs continues to travel around the nation, sharing his life-changing message
in bullying. Logan Cheney, a senior at SACS who has met Gibbs, said, “He moves
where God wants him to be.”
By Rebecca James, Freshman SACS High School
